Funky wars
by KitFisto'sGirl
Summary: some random things that I decided to write down. I know, it's taking a while for updates. School. what can I say? Please Review!
1. Council party

**Since the popularity for my other story is running out, I am starting another one. Not that I won't continue writing my other story.**

One random day, Annakin and Ahsoka were walking down the corridor of the ship when they got a transmission from Obi-wan Kenobi.

" Annakin, I need you to rescue me" he said urgently.

Panic surged through Annakin . "what?" he asked, "where are you? Are you hurt?"

" actually, I'm in the bathroom" Obi-wan replied nervously.

"WHAT?!?" Annakin roared.

" well, the senate was having a party, but things have gotten a bit out of hand."

" what do you mean? Out of hand" Annakin asked.

" well....."

then another voice was heard off on obi-wan's side of the intercom, " Hurry up in there obi-wan, you're really missing out. We're playing spin the bottle now."

Obi-wan paled.

"I see what you mean," said annakin, " I'll be right there"

**Ok, I have to give a disclaimer. I am copying some of this from some really funny youtube videos I watched called the spoof wars. Look them up, they're really funny.**

**Should I write more? Please review!**


	2. IMing

The clone wars charecters decided to IM eachother

Screen names

sizemattersnot-Yoda

anakinsux-Obi-wan

maskdude-Plo

orangething-Ahsoka

rulebreaker-Anakin

doNOTbreakthecode-Luminara

baldfreak-Mace

thecheeseguy-Palpatine/Sidious

notafreakin'droid-Greivous

killingrox-Asajj

luvmyship-Dooku

greenhair-Kit

iluvkit-Aayla

sexyrexy-Rex

clonedude-Cody

hottestsenator-Padmae

blablabla-Jar-Jar

_greenhair has logged on_

_iluvkit has logged on_

_doNOTbreakthecode has logged on_

_maskdude has logged on_

maskdude: hey guys, what's up??

iluvkit: not much

greenhair: WHY is your screen name "iluvkit"???

iluvkit: because I do

greenhair: you do what?

iluvkit: I love kit

greenhair: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

_greenhair has logged off from pure terror_

maskdude: ???????????????

iluvkit: who was that anyway?

doNOTbreakthecode: Kit

maskdude: oooooooooops!

iluvkit: noooooooo!

doNOTbreakthecode: you broke the code!!!!

_doNOTbreakthecode has logged off to go and kill iluvkit_

iluvkit: OMG i gotta go hide before she finds me!!!

_iluvkit has logged off to go hide and cry over Kit hating her_

_baldfreak has logged on_

_blablabla has logged on_

_hottestsenator has logged on_

_orangething has logged on_

_sexyrexy has seen that orangething has logged on and also logged on_

maskdude: Hi

blablabla: hi

maskdude: thanks 4 coming, the other guys ditched me

orangething: awwww!

maskdude: what?

orangething: you poor thing!

maskdude: holy shit

hottestsenator: someone gave her coffee this morning

blablabla: me-sa like coffee!!!

_blablabla has logged off to go get coffee_

_anakinsux has logged on_

_rulebreaker has logged on, seen anakinsux's screen name, and logged off to go kill him_

anakinsux: hello, everyone

maskdude: dude, anakins gonna kill you

anakinsux: I know

_killingrox has logged on_

killingrox: hello, jedi scum

anakinsux: hello, darling.

orangething: well, if it isn't the hairless harpie

killingrox: ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!

_killingrox has destroyed her computer out of anger_

_anakinsux has unwillingly been cut off as his computer is destroyed by a very angry Anakin_

sexyrexy: hi, ahsoka

maskdude: what about the rest of us?

sexyrexy: oh. Hiiiiiiiii

orangething: what's with the screen name, rex?

sexyrexy: you like it?

orangething: um...................no. I kinda don't think you're sexy

_sexyrexy has logged off to go find ahsoka and show her his...um....sexiness_

orangething: ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!

_orangething has logged off to hide from Rex_

_maskdude has logged off to protect ahsoka_

baldfreak: i've been watching you all, and from what I've heard.....YOU'RE ALL BREAKING THE CODE!!!!!

hottestsenator: yeah, like everyone dosen't know what you and a certain jedi master do in YOUR bedroom every night

baldfreak: gulp

_baldfreak has logged off to make sure master Yoda dosen't know about him breaking the code_

hottestsenator: figures

_hottestsenator has logged off_


	3. more IMing

Screen names

sizemattersnot-Yoda

anakinsux-Obi-wan

maskdude-Plo

orangething-Ahsoka

rulebreaker-Anakin

doNOTbreakthecode-Luminara

baldfreak-Mace

thecheeseguy-Palpatine/Sidious

notafreakin'droid-Greivous

killingrox-Asajj

luvmyship-Dooku

greenhair-Kit

iluvkit-Aayla

sexyrexy-Rex

clonedude-Cody

hottestsenator-Padmae

blablabla-Jar-Jar

bigbugeyes-Nahdar

_blablabla has logged on_

blablabla: me-sa like pie

_blablabla has logged off_

_iluvkit has logged on_

_greenhair has logged on_

_thecheeseguy has logged on_

greenhair: Aayla, why do you keep following me. And your screen name is very disturbing

thecheeseguy: what???

iluvkit: none of your business, SIDIOUS!!!

thecheeseguy: no, I'm palpatine. How dare you accuse me of being sidious

iluvkit: don't be stupid, we've all seen the third movie

thecheeseguy: ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Die, hollywood. I will destroy you!

greenhair: I am pretending to understand you.

_thecheeseguy has logged off, presumably to lead his droid armies on hollywood_

_greenhair has logged off to go find Aayla and privately make out with her_

iluvkit: oh goody!!!!!

_iluvkit has logged off because Kit just came into her room with his shirt off and she's probably unconscious_

_luvmyship has logged on_

_notafreakin'droid has logged on_

_killingrox has logged on_

notafreakin'driod: hi guys

luvmyship: who gave you a computer?

notafreakin'droid: sidious

killingrox: that is the stupidest thing I've ever heard. Has anyone seen Obi-wan?

Luvmyship: ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...........thats awkward

_killingrox has logged off to go find Obi-wan_

_notafreakin'droid has logged off 'cause I don't want my teacher to see his screen name_

_sizemattersnot has logged on_

_bigbugeyes has logged on_

_greenhair has logged on_

_doNOTbreakthecode has logged on_

_luvmyship has logged off because he's afraid of Yoda_

doNOTbreakthecode: hi

bigbugeyes: * glomps *

doNOTbreakthecode: that's awkward

greenhair: Nahdar, you're here!

bigbugeyes: um......okay?

doNOTbreakthecode: wait, Nahdar? You know that means "swim" in spanish, right?

greenhair: wait, you speak spanish?

doNOTbreakthecode: si, yo hablo espanol

sizemattersnot: hello. Bored I am. AHHHHHHHH! Nooooooooooooooooooo! Off the counter, get!

bigbugeyes: what????

sizemattersnot: ! eating me, it is!

greenhair: what??????

sizemattersnot: Clifford!!!!! ahhhhhhhhhhh!!!!

sizemattersnot: ahhh! Eating the computer it is! Go now I-

_sizemattersnot has logged off as his computer has been eaten by Clifford the big red dog_

doNOTbreakthecode: ????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

greenhair: ??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

bigbugeyes: ????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????


	4. Dooku's worst night ever

**Sorry for taking so long to update. I know the IMing was funny, but I kinda got bored of writing it, so tell me what you think of this:**

Dooku was peacefully sleeping one night when he was awakened my a loud knocking on his door.

" what do you want????" he yelled. Just then Grievous came in.

" my lord," he said, looking angry.

" what??" dooku asked, afraid they were under attack.

" I cant sleep. I had a nightmare and I think I wet the bed"

" great" dooku muttered.

" can I sleep in your room?" he asked, giving Dooku the I-am-an-innocent-little-kid-you-have-to-take-

pity-on-me look.

" um.....no"

ignoring him, grievous walked over to Dooku's bed and hopped in. instantly, he was sleeping, snoring

like there was no tomorrow.

Just as soon as he'd fallen asleep, Dooku sighed and lay down on the floor. As soon as he was almost

asleep, Greivous was shaking him, screaming:

"I CAN'T FIND TEDDY!!! HE'S GONE!!! HE WAS RIGHT BESIDE ME, I SWEAR!!!"

At that moment, Asajj Ventress ran in.

"master, what is all this yelling? Are you in trouble?" she asked. Then looking him over, she added,

" I didn't know you had pink pajamas"

"uh....." Dooku said awkwardly.

There was a random awkward silence, broken by Greivous's sniffling.

" um...Ventress, you can go now" Dooku said, embaressed

" but, it's dark out there" She whined, "and my flashlight's out of batteries, I'm thirsty and I need to

pee............"

This was the strangest thing he'd ever heard from his assasin. And she was still going.

".................and I went on a date with Kenobi last night and I got drunk and I have a headache and I

think I might have slept with him and I feel guilty and I know you're never make me a Sith and I can't

sleep anyway 'cause of all the coffe and soda I had at dinner and........."

She went on and on until Dooku finally just lost his temper and yelled "VENTRESS, SHUT UP!!!!"

she did.

" look, both of you, I just want to get some sleep and....."

"NOOOOOO!!!!! see Greivous??? I told you he didn't care about us!!!!! we'd be better off with the

republic!" Asajj threw herself into a tantrum.

" okay, okay," Dooku said, alarmed, " I'll find your teddy, Greivous, and Asajj, just tell me what you

need. Slowly"

" YAY!!!!" Asajj yelled, jumping into Dooku's lap.

" oh shit " Dooku muttered

Dooku got no more sleep that night.

**I kinda feel sorry for Dooku now!!!! oh well :)**


	5. The attack of Yoda's grandson

**A random and crazy chapter, this will be. Strange things it involves.**

One day, Rex and Cody were leading their men in a marching drill. They were both in the lead, trying to shout commands like "turn left!", but all their men were too busy chatting to hear anything, and as a result everyone was going every-which-way, and it was more like leading a troop of kids on a field trip. With and added bonus that the "kids" had blasters. And all knew the art of Kung-fu. Suddenly, Rex saw a little green thing standing in front of him.

"halt!" he screamed, panicking. He stopped, and Cody stopped, and a few men directly behind him stopped. Everyone else, who of course, had not heard the order or otherwise ignored it, crashed into them. Everyone fell over. Obi-wan, who had, at that moment, been having lunch, heard the commotion and run outside to see what was wrong, all the way muttering a lovely stream of profanities.

Meanwhile, Rex stood up. "sorry master Yoda," he began to say to the green thing, but then he realized that this thing was way too small, and it's eyes were too big, and it was not Yoda at all, but another one of his species.

"um..." Rex said awkwardly. Just then though, the thing opened up it's way-too-big mouth, and said, in a breathy, dreamy voice:

" Hellooooooooooooooooo. Yoda's grandson I aaaaaammmmmmm"

" oh god" said Cody, backing away.

Just then, Obi-wan came over. "what's going on?" He asked.

" um........." said Rex again.

Then Obi-wan looked down. " what the hell is that? He asked. Just then, Yoda appeared. Like, out of thin air. Everyone stared.

" my grandson he is. Treat him well, you will"

". Yoda's grandson I aaaaaaammmmmmm" said the green thing again, looking at Obi-wan, but at the same time, as he had everyone's eyes on his face, he reached out, took Obi-wan's lightsaber, and with the air of someone eating a subway sandwich, took a bite out of it.

" AHHHHHHHHH!" Obi-wan screamed.

" Patient you must be Obi-wan" Yoda scolded.

" AHHHHHHHHH! It's eating my lightsaber!!!"

" teething he is" Yoda retorted.

Just then, time stopped. Then Plo appered. "oooooops!" he said. Then he disappeared to wherever he'd come from, and time unfroze.

" um..yeah..well...time for lunch!" Cody yelled, and he ran off, along with all his men, Rex, Rex's men, and Obi-wan.

" hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm." said Yoda's grandson dreamily.


	6. Truth or dare or chaos

**Another random chapter this is. Play truth or dare, the characters decide to.**

One day all the clone wars characters decide to play truth or dare. Blah Blah Blah ok, let's just get on with the truth or dare part. Obi-wan is going first.

"Ventress, truth or dare?" he asked.

" Why me, Kenobi?" Asajj hissed. Obi-wan just smiled."Fine. Truth."

"Are you in love with Count Dooku?" Obi-wan asked, a malicious smile on his face.

" You can't ask that!" Asajj yelled.

"oh, yes I can" He replied.

Everyone leaned in.

"fine. I do. I love Dooku" Asajj said, her face reddening.

" Ventress?" Dooku yelled in disbelief.

Asajj turned away and ran down the hall sobbing hysterically. Dooku, looking uncomfortable, went after her. Obi-wan smiled, pleased that he had done his job.

"hmmmmm......My turn!" said Anakin.

"Hondo," he said, turning to the pirate, "truth or dare?"

"truth" Hondo said, Smiling like he'd already won.

" what's your deepest, darkest secret?" Anakin asked. Hondo's face paled and his smile dissapeared.

"I won't tell you!" he screamed.

" you haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaave to" said Anakin, smiling cheekily.

" fine. I'm gay. And I've slept with a guy before. And I'm in love with Obi-wan."

" AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Obi-wan ran off screaming.

" losing players rapidly we are" Yoda remarked.

" Windu, truth or dare?" Kit Fisto randomly yelled.

"um.......Dare?" Mace looked unsure.

" go over to Luminara and kiss her on the lips" Kit said, looking pleased.

Mace, saying nothing, but looking like he wanted to kill Kit, , went over to an unsuspecting Luminara and kissed her.

" AHHHHH!" Luminara screamed, shoving an over-alarmed Mace away from her with the force, "rapist!!!! Kriffing code breaker!!!!!! get away from me!!!!!!"

"It's all right, luminara" Kit said, looking as though he would explode from trying not to laugh, "it was just a dare"

"a dare!!!!" she shreiked, " what do you mean, a dare?!?"

"um.. we were playing truth or dare?" Mace said.

"that's against the code," she pouted.

"i know. That's why we're doing it"

That creeped Luminara out.

While master Unduli was hyperventilating, Ahsoka leaned over to Rex and whispered, "she has no sex life"

"how can you tell?" he asked.

"um.. If you didn't notice, Mace just kissed her and she thought he was a rapist."

"oh, I see what you mean," Rex said, leaning over and kissing her. All the other clones, seeing this, jumped up and ran over to Ahsoka and started trying to kiss her too. "Hey, that's my girlfreind!" Rex yelled. The other clones looked at him, and then started yelling: "she's mine!" and beating eachother up over it.

"CLONE FIGHT!!!" Anakin yelled, and everyone, including Ahsoka decided to just stand there and watch the action, instead of trying to break it up like they usually did. Then they heard someone speaking.

"and now, cadets, this is the Jedi Temple. You will live here when you're not in battle or on a ship." _oh, no_, Anakin thought. The Tour group. He'd forgotten all about it.

"uhhhh.... guys, we should go. There's a tour group right outside and there about to walk in here" he said.

"everybody run" Ahsoka whispered.

Everybody ran.

This, of course, resulted in complete chaos.

Greivous ran into Anakin and they started to fist fight. The clones were still at it, and people were tripping over them. Mace kept trying to make sure Luminara was safe, but she kept trying to get away from him. Kit and Plo and Yoda all collided and started arguing. Dooku and Asajj came out of the hall (where they had been peacefully making out) to see what all the noise was.

"um.."said a voice, "is this the wrong time?"

a group of confused clone cadets walked in, looking as if the world had turned upside down on them.

"um....more truth or dare tomorrow, we will play." Yoda said. Then, leaving everyone else to an awkward silence, he walked away.

**um.. if anyone has any truth or dare ideas, please review or PM me cause I can't update till I have some. The chapter after next will be more IMing cause you guys loved it so much. **


	7. more Truth or Dare

**Ok, people, you are not giving me ideas! I need ideas! and reviews! this chapter might be short cause I didn't get very many ideas. Thank you for the ideas, Zany-Siri.**

The next week, everyone gathered in the temple to play truth or dare.

"Bane" Ahsoka said, turning to the bounty hunter, "truth or dare?"

"um..truth?" Cad asked, a bit worried.

"do you have more than one girlfreind?" Ahsoka asked mischievously.

"well......um..." Cad stammered, "yes."

Aurra Sing, who had been dating him, looked at him in astonishment.

" I've been dating Cassie and Aurra. At the same time." His face went red.

"Bitch." Cassie said to Aurra, and the two started fighting. Ahsoka laughed.

"you turn bane. She said.

" Plo, truth or dare?" he asked.

"truth"

"chicken. Ok, are you in love?" Plo looked freaked.

"well, yes.." he admitted. "there was this one Twileck girl. I think she's pregnant now......"

everyone stared.

"ok, ok my turn" Plo stammered. " Luminara, truth or dare."

" excuse me? I wasn't playing this game"

" chicken"

"fine truth"

"ultra chicken"

"ok, DARE! are you happy?"

" ok.." Plo said, an evil look in his eye, "strip down to your underclothes while dancing to ' Bad Romance'"

Luminara looked as if she was about to throw up. "fine" she said

Plo turned on the radio. Lady Gaga's voice filled the room.

_Ra-ra-ra-a-a roma-roma-ma ga-ga-oh-la-la, want some bad romance!_

_I want your ugly, I want your disease, I want your everything, as long as it's free, _

_I want your love._

_Love,love,love, I want your love._

" come on, luminara, dance!"

Luminara started to dance and slip out of her clothes. For someone who lived like a nun, she wasn't bad. As in, all the bachelors in the room were staring at her as her layers fell off her one by one. Her face though, said it all. She looked like a wet puppy locked out in the rain. After the song was done, Luminara grabbed her clothes and ran off, looking as if she was going to need fifteen asprin and a therapy session to get her mind right again.

Plo laughed. "ok, who wants to go next?"

**okay, I need ideas. I changed my mind about the IMing, 'cause most of you liked this better, so my next chapter will be with truth or dare. Be warned, submit your idea now, 'cause it will be the last truth or dare chapter.**


	8. even more truth or dare

**everyone, thank you for the truths and dares! I really appreciate them. I will try and put everyone's dares in this chapter. I kinda took awhile to update so everyone could get their ideas in. And, um...someoneyouknowtehe, um..I don't know you, no offense or anything, and you have kinda strange truth or dares, so sorry if I don't use all of them. Other than that, thank you all so much!**

**this starts from where I left off**

"ok, so who wants to go next?" Plo laughed.

"I-I-I'll go" stuttered Barriss, the Mini-Luminara.

"how brave, especially after what happened to her master" someone whispered.

"well..truth or dare?"

"um...dare" said Barriss, who would rather die than tell the world anything about herself.

"ok...dress exactly like your master for the rest of the day"

Barriss's face went white. "what?" she screamed.

"haha!" Anakin laughed. Barriss walked out of the room and came back two minutes later, looking EXACTLY like Luminara, but smaller.

"wow" said Plo. Barriss, blushing furiously, sat down with everyone else.

"ok, Cad Bane, Truth or dare?"

"I'm no chicken," the bounty hunter growled, "Dare"

"ok," said Barriss, smiling happily. "sing Poker Face while I record it and post it on the holonet.

"!" He screamed. Barriss, smiling cheekily, turned on the music and started the recording. Cad Bane, looking angry, started to sing:

mum mum mum mah  
Mum mum mum mah

I wanna hold em' like they do in Texas Plays  
Fold em' let em' hit me raise it baby stay with me (I love it)  
Luck and intuition play the cards with Spades to start  
And after he's been hooked I'll play the one that's on his heart

Oh, oh, oh, oh, ohhhh, ohh-oh-e-ohh-oh-oh  
I'll get him hot, show him what I've got  
Oh, oh, oh, oh, ohhhh, ohh-oh-e-ohh-oh-oh,  
I'll get him hot, show him what I've got

Can't read my,  
Can't read my  
No he can't read my poker face  
(She's got to love nobody)  
Can't read my  
Can't read my  
No he can't read my poker face  
(She's got to love nobody)

He kept on going, and then when he finished, Obi-wan turned off the recording, and Cad stalked off looking angry.

"that was so funny!" Barriss giggled.

"we can look up the reviews for it later" said Obi-wan, looking as if he couldn't wait.

"well, Cad, your turn"

"all right" said Cad Bane. "Obi-wan, truth or dare?"

"I'm no chicken, dare"

"I dare you to kiss Luminara."

Obi-wan's face completely drained of color. But he tried to keep his composure. He marched up to Luminara, who was finally back, and kissed her.

"!" she screamed. Mace, hearing that, turned around and attacked Obi-wan, and the two Jedi masters tumbled on the floor.

Then, Ahsoka, getting a very evil idea, started whispering to the other clones. There was some head nodding, and then they separated.

"all right, Ahsoka, truth or dare?" asked a clone.

"dare" she said

"I dare you to kiss Obi-wan"

Ahsoka ran across the room to Obi-wan who had just finished fighting, and kissed him. Rex, seeing this, Jumped up and threw Obi-wan out the window.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" he screamed as he fell.

"funny, that was" Yoda commented. He could also see that this was turning into a game of 'try to find the most creative way to kill Obi-wan' much too quickly.

"kissing, there should be no more of" he said.

"aww, party pooper," said a clone, but then he got an idea.

"Greivous, truth or dare?" He asked his greatest enemy.

"um...truth?"

everyone waited to see what he'd be asked. It must be something dark and personal, they thought, like why he hated Jedi, or...

"what's your favorite TV show?"

everyone sighed.

Then, "um...well...um...it's kinda personal..."

"chicken"

now, being called a chicken by a clone, the very creature he hated, was too much for Greivous.

"fine!" he yelled, "my favorite TV show is 'Bob the Builder' and I'm in love with Dizzy and I have posters of her wearing a bikini all over my room"

Everyone fainted.

"um...yeah" said Greivous, and he ran off down the hall. Everyone laughed.

"okay" said Ahsoka, "Quinlan Vos, truth or dare?"

"dare"

"I dare you to scream your deepest, darkest secret to the world from a megaphone on top if the Jedi temple"

Quinlan Vos's face turned red. "FINE!" he raged, and he walked up the stars to the top, knocking over a few clones in his anger.

Two minutes later, everyone heard his voice, magnified a thousand times, yell: "I HAVE A REALLY BIG CRUSH ON COMMANDER FAIE!"

then he came downstairs, his face even redder than before. Faie fainted.

"that was funny" Ahsoka giggled. "ok I'm gonna ask on e more preson. Master, truth or dare?"

"dare" said Anakin, being Anakin.

Ahsoka, who had been expecting this said, "I dare you to kiss Obi-wan"

"..."

Anakin walked over to his former master. "sorry he said, and kissed him.

Obi-wan fainted.

"Palpatine, truth or dare?" Vos, still angry, asked.

"dare?" Palpatine said.

"OK, YOU PEOPLE PROBABLY RUINED MY LIFE, SO NOW YOU'RE GONNA GET IT! PALPATINE, I DARE YOU TO DRESS IN AHSOKA'S BIKINI AND LET US TAKE PICTURES TO PUT ON THE HOLONET!"

Palpatine, very sorry indeed that he'd chosen dare, did just that. Then, a few minutes after they'd posted the pictures on the holonet, a news announcement came out. "well, "the reporter said, "It seems that most of the galaxy has passed out in front of their computers due to these very strange pictures of our supreme chancellor" he showed the pictures that had been taken of Palpatine.

"hey, " said Obi-wan, who had somewhat recovered from being beaten up, thrown out the window., and kissed by his former padawan.

"those are the pictures we took"

**Sorry I took so long. I'm getting my own laptop, and that should make it go much faster. I tried to use everyone's ideas, and I want to thank you all again for the funny ideas. I hope you like the next chapter! Keep reviewing!**


	9. No Nautolans ON THE BED!

**Omg I Haven't updated in so long! I'm so sorry! I hope this chapter is good enough to make up for it. :( I really hope you guys like this chapter. I think I'll be doing a lot of drabbles, but I think I might do another truth or dare sometime. IDK. And, btw, there are Adventure Time With Finn and Jake references.**

**I don't own clone wars or finn and jake. **

**Here goes.**

All the trauma started one night, in the Jedi temple on Coroscant, in Ahsoka Tano's bedroom. She had just come in from a long, satisfying bath, when she saw, to her horror, a baby Nautolan on the bed.

"No. Nautolans. On the BED!" she screamed at it.

The Nautolan looked at her, went "wo, wo, wo, wo, wo!" and scurried off. Ahsoka collapsed into bed and fell asleep. The next morning, she woke up, and there were FIVE baby Nautolans on her bed.

"NO. NAUTOLANS. ON THE **BED**!" She screamed at the top of her lungs.

She punted off three of them and the other two looked at eachother and went "wo, wo, wo, wo,wo!" then scurried off. Ahsoka sighed and went to have breakfast. Coming out of the mess hall, (where her and Rex'd had an interesting conversation regarding Cad Bane, nightclubs, and five-star hotel rooms), she went into her bedroom, only to find...

Twenty baby Nautolans, all over the room. "DID YOU GUYS GET ON THE BED?" she screamed hysterically, "I TOLD YOU YOU WEREN'T ALLOWED!"

The Nautolans all ran off, going "wo, wo, wo, wo, wo!" and crashing into master Mundi, unleashing a stream of profanity harsh enough to take out three clone legions.

"wow" said Ahsoka, looking at the three dead clone legions. "did you do that?" She looked impressed. "you gotta teach me how to do that!" Master Mundi looked guilty.

"um...you didn't hear anything!" he ran off.

Ahsoka sighed, and went back into her room, and saw a grown Nautolan, reading on her bed.

"**AHHH! NO. NAUTOLANS. ON. THE. ****BED!****"** she yelled hysterically. She ran over and head butted it off. "oh!" she said when she realized it was only Kit Fisto, looking rather hurt. "sorry Master Fisto!" Kit sniffled.

"That hurt!" He pouted. He got up and walked off. As soon as he stepped out of the room, he was engulfed in a crowd of stalker fan-girls.

"Kit! Omg Kit!"

"Kit, is it true that you were at a nightclub last night?"

"Kit, we love your tentacles!"

"Kit! Take off your shirt for us!"

"Kit, we LOVE YOU!"

Kit and his swarm walked off. Ahsoka shook her head and muttered, "womanizer"

And she turned around. And fainted.

There were 100 baby Nautolans on her bed.

**Ok, it was short, but I really hope you liked it. If not, there's another coming soon! Plz review!**


	10. Yoda's Grandson Strikes Again

**Hi. I really hope you like this drabble. Idk if this thing's still popular after me not updating. Enjoy :)**

One day, Dooku was planning an attack on the Jedi. As his ship was about to take off, he noticed a small green thing on the ground. "Land!" He ordered, thinking it was master Yoda. Getting off, he yelled, "surrender, Yoda!" but then he saw that this thing was way too small, it's eyes were too big, and it was not Yoda at all, but another one of his species.

"um..." said Dooku awkwardly. Then though, the thing opened up it's way-too-big mouth, and said, in a breathy, dreamy voice, "Helloooooooooooooo. Yoda's grandson I aaaaaaaaammmmmmmmmmm"

"Um," Dooku said again, backing away. The thing looked toward his ship.

"Hungry I ammmmmmmmmm" It said, giving him the puppy eyes. Dooku backed even further. He turned and ran back toward his ship. The thing followed. Then, just as he was about to go in, It's tongue came out and wrapped around the ship. Yes, it was THAT big. Yoda's grandson then proceeded to pull the ship into his mouth with his tongue. Dooku screamed like a girl and ran away. Later, Palpatine, a.k.a. Palpy (and Sidious, but I prefer Palpy), was walking down the corridor of the senate building, plotting his next big, evil scam, (which happened to be getting the idiot donut shop down the street to lower their prices), When he walked into something small and green.

"sorry master Yoda," he began to say to the green thing, but then he realized that this thing was way too small, and it's eyes were too big, and it was not Yoda at all, but another one of his species.

"um..." He said awkwardly. Just then though, the thing opened up it's way-too-big mouth, and said, in a breathy, dreamy voice:

" Hellooooooooooooooooo. Yoda's grandson I aaaaaammmmmmm"

" oh god" said Palpy, backing away.

Just then, Anakin came over. "what's going on?" He asked.

" um..." said Palpy again.

Then Anakin looked down. " what the hell is that? He asked. Just then, Yoda appeared. Like, out of thin air. Everyone stared.

" my grandson he is. Treat him well, you will"

". Yoda's grandson I aaaaaaammmmmmm" said the green thing again, looking at Palpy, but at the same time, as he had everyone's eyes on his face, he reached out, took Palpatine, Head Chancellor of the Republic, and with the air of someone eating a subway sandwich, took a bite out of him.

" AHHHHHHHHH!" Anakin screamed.

" Patient you must be young Skywalker" Yoda scolded.

" AHHHHHHHHH! It's eating Palpatine!"

" teething he is" Yoda retorted.

Just then, time stopped. Then Plo appeared. "oooooops!" he said. Then he disappeared to wherever he'd come from, and time unfroze.

When Yoda's grandson had finished Palpy, He gave a satisfied burp. "tastes like cheese he does" He muttered. "Hungry anymore I am nooooooooooooooot" And disappeared.

**There. And yes, I did copy from the other chapter. I don't know if anyone else gets the cheese guy thing, but if you do you get a virtual pie!**


	11. At The Boonta Eve Race

**Here is how I made this crazy fic**

**Saw movie 1, phantom menace, for first time in a while.**

**Then, saw the 1 part with Aurra just standing there.**

**flipped out with EEEEEEEEE!-ness.**

**Thought she didn't play enough of a part.**

**Got this idea. **

**Hope u like it.**

**And, I don't own anything. Except maybe Qui-gon**

**Qui-gon: WHAT?**

**=checks with lucasfilm= nope, nothing**

**Qui-gon: YAY!**

**ok, here goes. Wait, is Qui-gon even in this?**

Jango was having a rather pleasant day, when he got an unexpected call from Aurra Sing.

"well, hello there, Aurra. What's going on?" He asked, not knowing if she wanted sex, money, both, or some other shit.

"OMG! Jango! You will not believe where I am right now!" She squealed, all in one breath. She looked super exited and was jumping up and down. Jango was shocked. This was not the Aurra he knew. The Aurra he knew would destroy you in a heartbeat, and then laugh. She was deadly, dangerous and-

"GUESS WHERE I AM, JANGO! GUESS!" she bounced in the hologram excitedly.

"holy shit, where are you, already?" Jango gasped, annoyed.

"ok, ok, so my ship, get this, crashed on Tatooine right before the Boonta Eve Race!" She looked like a little kid on sugar high. She jumped up and down, he holsters bouncing against her hips.

"okayyyy" said Jango, confused, but then was interrupted, once again, by Aurra.

"and-I-have-the-very-very-very-best-view-of-it-in-the-galaxy!" she said without taking a breath. She obviously was bursting with excitement over the whole scenario.

"you hijacked the stands?" Jango guessed. He knew Aurra would never PAY for anything like that.

"no! I didn't. I just found a place to stand! That's what's so cool about it!" Aurra exclaimed.

"Zam!" Said Jango, turning away from the hologram. "have you sent Aurra anything?" The seemingly beautiful bounty hunter (who always morphed back into a changeling when you tried to kiss her) turned away from her paperwork.

"No" said Zam, "except for some coffee"

Jango faceplamed. "well, I think she drank it. All of it."

"that's impossible," scoffed Zam, "I sent her too much for that"

Then Aurra, who was still there in hologram, yelled, "I NEVER THOUGHT I'D SAY THIS, BUT, I LOVE YOU, BOSSK! EEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" she jumped up and down with excitement again, like a hyper fangirl. The look on Bossk's face was pricless.

"ok, I take it back" Said Zam.

When they looked back at Aurra's hologram, it was gone.

=meanwhile, that the Boonta Eve Race=

"OHMYGOD! I KID JUST WON! A HUMAN KID!"

"excuse me, Ma'am, are you intoxicated?"

THE END

**ok, ok, it wasn't in the clone wars time period. Sorry, ok? I just had to write it down.**


	12. The problem with Twi'lecks

**Omfg I haven't updated in such a long time! ok, here goes. So sorry for making everyone wait. **

**Takes place a few weeks before the episode 'supply lines' (season 3 episode 3 If you haven't seen it it's really good)**

**=warning, some material, while still eligible to be rated T, may be...disturbing=**

Jedi master Di was not having the best week. To start off, he was stuck on Ryloth, a planet not only dealing with a separatist invasion, but with a Civil war as well. Second, he was running out of supplies, and going without food for two days had made him rather cranky. Not to mention that his clone commander spent most of his free time with girls instead of helping him cope with all of this. Oh, yeah, there was also this teeny-tiny problem that had to do with the fact that the leader of the Twi'lecks that were helping him, whose name was Cham Syndulla, didn't seen to like him that much. He sighed as he walked past a tent, and heard what sounded suspiciously like his clone commander and a Twi'leck girl having...never mind. _Hello?_ He thought to himself, _It's a TENT. EVERY ONE CAN HEAR YOU._ He kept walking. He was about to enter his tent when he was smashed into by a very seemingly-freaked-out Cham Syndulla. "AHHHHH!" he screamed. "JEDI! WE'RE OUT OF SUPPLIES! MY MEN ARE GOING TO DIE! AHHHHHH!" he repeated this over and over, shaking poor master Di.

"Syndulla, I think you need to lie down for a second. The ships will be here soon, and the supplies are fine" he explained calmly. But Cham just kept screaming. Di wondered it he'd had too much sugar at dinner, or eaten some weird plant by mistake. Cham just ran though the camp, knocking over supply tents. Unfortunately, he also knocked over the tent that Di's commander and his girlfriend were in. Mother's screamed and covered their children's eyes, while the commander and his girlfriend both tried to cover up what they were doing. Di ran after the crazed Twi'leck. "Syndulla! Stop!" he yelled, grabbing him again. "now" he said, "tell me what you guys are out of"

"CONDOMS!" Cham shrieked. "WE'RE TOTALLY OUT OF COMDOMS!" he started to cry.

And, suddenly, the problems in Master Di's life got a lot bigger.


	13. Karma, anyone?

Zabrack are a rather aggressive species. This is definetly shown when you shove three male Zabrack in a room for an hour, and see what happens. Most likely, they will turn out to be dead or seriously injured. That's why Kit Fisto thought it wasn't such a great idea to put Eeth Koth, Agen Kolar, and Tyzen Xebec in one pod and send them off on an undercover mission to their home planet, Iridonia.

"Master Yoda-" Kit began to try and voice his opinion, but was cut off.

"whatever master Fisto. Cares about your opinion, no one does. If, time we had, debate this like we should we would, but almost out of doughnuts the shop down the street is, and go get one I must. Over, this meeting is." Everyone, obviously having somewhere much more important to be, got up and ran out.

"Damn" muttered Kit.

He turned and walked out. Eeth and Agen looked each other. Tyzen decided that it was the best to go and hide behind a couple of chairs. Eeth, the most recently put on the council, felt his aggressive Zabrack instincts rise up and.

"AHHHH! MASTER KOTH WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING!" He heard Agen yell as he held him back with the force.

_A few days later_

"I do not care about your_ politics,_ I do not care about your _republic,_ I only live to see you _DIE_!" General Greivous roared at an astonished Jedi council, Anakin, and some assorted younglings and padawans, shaking Eeth Koth like a rag doll.

_And this is what I get for charging Agen Kolar. Karma, anyone?_

Just then, Grevious noticed something. "What the fuck is Skywalker doing here?" He asked coughing.

"You know you're right" Said Obi-wan, scratching his beard. "Why _is_ Anakin here? It's not like he's a member of the Jedi council, or one of those younglings."

"A good question that is, let him in who did?" Asked Yoda, searching the room.

"Well...well..." Anakin stammered, "I'm not a part of the council, but...neither is that Weequay."

Said Weequay grabbed him, and Anakin had a bloody nose. "Actually, he is" Sighed Master Plo.

Meanwhile, unnoticed to anyone, Eeth Koth had gotten up from his pitiful position on the floor to recline on his elbows. Suddenly, everyone was arguing and screaming about why Anakin was there. Finally, Yoda said,

"Throw him out we should!"

And that was that.

"Is it just me," Said Koth, and everyone turned, shocked he was still alive. "Or does Anakin do _everything_ with the council?"

**He kinda does. It's creepy. HE IS NOT A MASTER AND SHOULD NEVER BE. HE NEVER EVEN PASSED THE TRAILS. **

**Anyway, next up, **

**THE RETURN OF TRUTH OR DARE!**

**Let's make'em crazy, people :)**

**(P.S. I'm soo sorry for not updating all my stories. Between schoolwork and being sick, It's just hard.)**


	14. Padawan troubles

**Ok, I know I haven't updated in a while, but I was busy with theatre and school. Sorry. Also, I asked for truth or dare ideas and NO ONE gave my any. I know there are more people that have this on story alert than the peeps who reviewed.**

**Sorry if that sounded bitchy, you don't have to read if you don't want to. Anyway, I've been having writer's block for a while. Anyway, a friend of mine gave me this idea and everyone seemed to think it was funny, so here goes...**

Agen Kolar was always a strange Youngling.

He was an even stranger Padawan.

Now, his master had known that ever since he'd gotten him. Agen was either doing something completely reckless, using the force without thinking, or staring with a strange blank expression. But the weirdest thing was his hair. He refused to cut it, and it was down to his waist now. The problem was that he hit anyone who called him a girl, which happened often.

Of course none of this was going through his master's mind, as he was being attacked by a bunch of Sith at the time. It had started out as a simple mission, but quickly spiraled into disaster, like most missions with Agen did.

As explosives started to go off, and the Sith closed in, Agen's master knew he had inly one hope.

"Agen," he said hurriedly, taking out his spare lightsaber. "You know how to use this, right?"

Agen looked at his master with a blank expression. "You seem distressed"

His master was getting more and more worried by the minute. "Agen, just take the lightsaber!"

"Maybe you should meditate, that always helps me."

"AHH! Agen, take it already!"

"Or maybe you need an asprin," Said Agen, reaching inside his robe, "Just breathe in, and out, come on now, master"

"AGNE DO YOU WANT TO DIE?"

"Why ever would that happen. Master, you really need to calm down. It's not like we're being attacked by Sith, or bombs are going off, or anything." Agen looked completely oblivious to his surroundings.

"AGEN, TAKE THE LIGHTSABER!"

Agen seemed to finally realize there was a lightsaber in front of him. "ohhhh...shiny"

The Sith were closing in.

"We're going to kill you, jedi" one of them said, "you and that little girl"

"WHAT!" Agen said, finally realizing the Sith were there. "WHO. ARE. YOU. CALLING. A. GIRL."

"You" said one, less-intelligent member of the Sith."

"Oh crap" Said Agen's master, bracing himself for the explosion.

Missions with Agen Kolar always went this way.

**I know you all busy, but can I please have some ideas for truth or dare? It's ok if not, but I'm just having writers block problems. Thanks!**


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